Here is a way an actual person decided to bat in a college game

Yu Darvish spotted taking notes, nodding thoughtfully

Aroldis Chapman allegedly trying to become CC Sabathia

...by eating 18 pastries before a game

Thanks to composite photography and SI's Extra Mustard blog, we have been able to approximate what this looks like:

Ok for real though, who threw that pizza at me

Remember when Prince Fielder hit an inside-the-park home run that one time

This is why a cup of beer should not be used to catch fly balls

Y'all suck at finding shit